Thank You For Riding BART

There is no eating, drinking or smoking on the BART train

There is no kicking, screaming or yelling on the BART train

There is no dancing, singing or skit comedy on the BART train

Obviously

There is no hoping or dreaming on the BART train

And of course there is no questioning authority

Well, okay, I guess there is wondering on the BART train

But specifically, there is no thinking seriously about what the hell you are doing

Up so early again on the BART train

There is no looking at your neighbors on the BART train

Please keep your eyes on your own screen

Everyone else’s eyes are on their own screen

Why do you have to always be so difficult?

There is no curiosity on the BART train

There is no community on the BART train

Anyone found guilty of trying to build community on the BART train

Will be subject to strict fines

And possibly community service

There is no being really depressed on the BART train

Because of that whole thing about being near train tracks

We’re not going to dwell on that one

Moving on, we should mention

There is no astral projection on the BART train

And no telepathy either

Although oddly there is praying on the BART train

That’s actually okay

But you have to do it silently

Do not move your lips on the BART train

And for God’s sake, try to remember

There is absolutely no chanting out loud on the BART train

That would really freak people out

You can respond “bless you” to a nearby sneeze on the BART train

That’s still acceptable

There is also sleeping on the BART train

We tried to stop that one but

Commuters

What can you do?

If you do sleep, try not to drool or snore

And it should be clear to you by now

There is no resting your head

On your unknown neighbor’s shoulder on the BART train

They can complain to the BART police

Yes, there are BART police on the BART train

But they are just there to make sure

There is no eating, drinking or smoking on the BART train