Somewhere outside of Bend, Oregon
I stop for water
Maybe something sweet too
The highway runs through a tiny town
I pull up at the most homey-looking store
You know, kitchy garden art out front
The word "cottage" on the sign
Turned out to be
Part gift store, part bakery
Also they would make sandwiches for you
To eat at the couple of tables and chairs
Inside next to the stuffed animals
And souvenir mugs
It was all a little fussy but mostly cute
I poke my head in a curious room
Saloon-style doors, unmarked
Turns out to be a very very small casino
Six machines
An 80+ year old woman in one corner, playing
What the hell, I think
I stick five bucks in Zeus's Crown
Or whatever it was
In five minutes, I am up to $32
I cash out
Grab my water
Look at the baked goods
They are overwhelming
The variety is incredible
The descriptions make each one sound excellent
They are also $1.50/ea, or for 4 for 5
Absurd for these homemade goods
I ask the woman behind the counter
What are the popular ones?
The specialties?
She suggests the cannolii
Which I get
And a peanut butter chocolate muffin
Which I also get
I pay and leave
Back on the road
After a little while
I decide to crack open the cannoli
I take one bite
HOLY SHIT
This is the best cannoli I have ever had
In my life
And I am Italian
And maybe it's the best baked good even
(Not the best dessert
Because that is the hot chocolate
From Angelina's Tea Salon in Paris)
But this is high in the running
For Top Five Tastiest Non-Savories Worldwide
Why?
What the hell was so good about THIS cannoli?
For starters, the shell was amazing
Crisp and crunchy but yet easy to eat
Soft where it needed to be
And then the filling
The best I can say is it was like
Room-temperature ice cream
Which I know does not sound delicious
But it was creamy like the creamiest ice cream
No, like frozen custard creamy
But not frozen
And not like custard
Damn
Words fail me
I will never be able to capture
The glory of this cannoli
And then about halfway through
Suddenly
A very long hair
In my mouth
But not mine
Clearly not mine
I pull it out
Huh
Well
A mom and pop shop
In the middle of nowhere
What did I expect?
Also these things happen
But there I was
In this terrible quandary
Do I go on
Or not?
Both choices have their points
Stop because hair
Go on because Top 5 etc
I put the cannoli away for a little while
I drive through the terrible smoke
Sometimes I wear my mask
When I stop to stretch my legs
I see, high up, a tiny patch of blue
Has the air has finally cleared?
It's been this way through two entire states
Then I happen to glance around
And right across the I-5 freeway
There is a wildfire
So new the smoke has not reached me yet
I sigh and get back in the car
Many more miles are ahead of me
They are full of scorched earth
Twisted black shapes that once were forests
And yet I feel grateful for all of it
The unnaturally red sun
The valleys of thick grey air
The people even
Slowing me down with their bad driving
At least
This is all still here, for now
I say fuck it
And eat the rest of the cannoli
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