What Does It Mean To Be Well-Rounded?

My friend Z asked me to write a 500 word essay on what it means for a person to be well-rounded.  He’s never thrown out this particular challenge before, but he and I are both writers, so it’s not unusual for him to challenge me in some way.  He explained the reason: recently, when perusing the online dating profile of a woman who seemed interesting, she mentioned that she wanted someone well-rounded.

His first response was, naturally, to consider if himself was well-rounded.  That’s what we do when we read online dating profiles; we think about the characteristics being mentioned as either desirable or not and then compare that to our idea of ourselves and see if we measure up (or not).  In some cases, the exact thing someone wants (must love dogs) is the exact thing someone else doesn’t want (I’m allergic to dogs), but with “well-rounded,” it sort of seems like a no-brainer.  Doesn’t everyone want someone who is well-rounded?

Z went a step further and googled “well-rounded” to see what it meant.  He found a site that listed some suggestions of how to be more well-rounded, which included some obvious ones like cultivate a hobby, attend local cultural events, learn a language, travel.  “A good list,” Z said, “but a little basic.  I’d be interested to hear what YOU think.”

Well, what DO I think?  I never really considered it before.  I would say, as a baseline, well-rounded means that you work on that section of your knowledge base that is going to convert the most “unknown” into “known.”  When I was in high school, I had this incredible English teacher (Mr K) for three years of advanced placement English; in order to explain literature, he gave us teenagers a crash course in epistemology, and blew my mind one day when he drew a large pie chart on the board, which had a very tiny section (perhaps 3%) and another small section (an additional 5%) and the rest (about 93%).

He pointed to the 3%.  “This is what you know you know – like strawberries.  You know what a strawberry is: you know basically what they are, where they come from, how they taste, and so on.”

He pointed to the 5%. “This is what you know you don’t know – like rocket science.  You’ve heard of it and have a vague idea about it, but no details or understanding.”

He then pointed to the 93% and said, “And this is what you don’t even know you don’t know.”  I was fifteen, and he was right; I didn’t know much at all.  And I was so bummed out about it.  I always wanted to be clever and smart and intelligent; I knew I wasn’t one of the Beautiful People (nor was I rich) so personality and intellect was going to have to get me through and I needed as much as I could get.  Right then, I decided I wanted to reduce that 93% as much as possible.  I would be well-rounded, even eclectic – though it wasn’t until much later I learned about the pitfalls of dilettantism.

Now, it’s whatever number of years (decades, yikes!) later and I guess that is still my idea of being well-rounded – try and reduce that giant number of things you have no idea about.  Sample different kinds of music, literature, art, sports, activities.  Talk to people, lots of people.  Reflect on the self, dive deep into that arena as well.  Have experiences – yes, travel, for sure, but more than that: be present in your life, be engaged and interested.  And have perspective – if there’s something LOTS of people do that you personally don’t do (like pray, or cook with corn, or watch The Olympics), it’s good to try it once and/or at least know what it is and a few major or salient facts about it. 

Have a sense of things, a sense of the world, a sense of yourself and a sense of others.  Don’t think that just because you experience something, it exists for everyone or, conversely, if you don’t experience it, it doesn’t exist.  And then, also try to have a few diverse talents – I myself can drive a stick shift, play the ukulele, draw a labyrinth, discuss Trollope, waltz.  Everyone has things they can do, but if they are all in one area (if, for instance, all you do is swim, sail and fish), you might consider trying something else, out of the water.

I’m not sure I have too many specific suggestions, in fact, because I think one of the main ways – in fact, THE main way – to be well-rounded is to have the idea in your head of being that way, and to follow through in whatever way you fancy.  That will probably do the trick.  People who are NOT well-rounded probably just never considered they should be; any sort of concept of it, even if played out inexpertly, will sort of automatically get you there. 

Anyway, it will get you someplace, which is really all you need.  Because that 93% is really big, and it’s going to stay big until you die.  Even with the internet and all the info being out there, no one can really get the point where there are more things in this world that you know about than things that you don’t.  The Universe is immense and human life is short; just doing the math, you know you can’t ever actually be totally well-rounded.  So just take off in SOME direction, and that’s about all you need do, I think.

The funny thing is, Z is one of the most well rounded people I know.  Proof, I guess, that if you’re even concerned about being well-rounded, you probably already are.