Friday, April 24, 2015

Moles Piss Me Off...But They Shouldn't, Really

Earlier today, I was talking to my brother on the phone in my backyard / garden, and complaining about all the damage the birds are doing to the sunflower starts, and the damage the moles are doing to everything. I've had issues with the moles - or gophers, maybe - for years but this year seemed especially bad.

He asked me if I meant moles, the small rodents that dig in dirt, or moles, a Russian spy that works for us. The rodents, I said. "Really, they are digging holes everywhere - I can see about 25 or 30 just from where I'm standing. Sometimes I am walking in the yard [now dirt, because drought], and I'll just sink, like six or seven inches, the ground will give way, because of all these mole tunnels."

I went on. I get very riled up about these moles. They're totally the bane of my garden existence. They WILL pull plants down right in front of me.

"They also throw piles of dirt everywhere. I came out here yesterday, and I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye, it was a mole going back in the hole. I went over and he poked his stupid little head right out to see if I was still there, and saw me and disappeared, and instantly filled in the hole. Now today, there's a GIANT mount of dirt there! It's all over my herb garden tiles and the cement pathway and the hose. These moles! These fucking moles! They are leaving these giant piles of dirt everywhere! Giant piles everywhere!"

My brother broke in, "Kar, aren't you getting a little worked up about this?"
I thought, I guess he's right - but also, he's usually a little more sympathetic. In fact, I felt a little peeved he seemed to be taking the moles' side, oh, it's no big deal. He went on.

"I mean, aren't you making a mountain out of a molehill?"

He could barely get the words out without laughing. I can't believe I did not see it coming. Our dad is a terrible punster, and my brother said, "I'm so sorry, I could not help myself, I had to say it."

Well, yeah, that's kind of a once in a lifetime pun set up.

And yes, this really happened.

1 comment:

  1. I would agree, except that I can't help thinking of how the phrase "mountain out of a molehill" came to enter the language. It must have been just the reverse of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, don't you think? More like the endless complaint of farmers everywhere, that led to someone once upon a time saying, "that guy's really making a mountain out of those mole hills," and then not realizing why everyone around started laughing uproariously.

    So, I wouldn't call it a once-in-a-lifetime setup, but more just your experiences as a new farmer. There are many other farming pun setups in your future, now that you're past the breakers.