Mercury is currently in retrograde, which means - traditionally - that there are issues surrounding communications, machines and computers, just plans in general. Things have a tough time materializing, mostly in the way you want them to. Prepare for misunderstandings and delays, they say. Go still, re-evaluate, turn inward, do some reflection. That's the way to handle this period of star-movements.
It doesn't matter if you don't believe anything about mercury retrogrades: my experience tells me it's a kerfuffly time in general right now, no matter who you are, it seems. Weird, delicate situations keep arising, and then going poorly. Even things that typically don't go awry are doing so. Friends express frustration, money is flowing out the door due to small repairs and unexpected expenses, and work projects have taken dark turns. It's like I'm moving through molasses. Example: I had one of those email blunders - a co-worker meant to copy his small location, and instead copied a huge group of us on a big email alias (600 internationally, probably), and when I was trying to check the alias it went to, I accidentally forwarded a blank email to those same already-annoyed 600 people. It was a slip of my hand, hitting the right keys to send the message. I mean - REALLY! Must I experience this?
And what strikes me - what strikes me the most - is how we, as a collective group, a race, a planet, whatever, how we can't seem to communicate. It's ancient, one of the most ancient things there is; what we have here is a failure to communicate. Why is that line from that movie so famous? Because everyone can identify; we know truth when we hear it. What we ALWAYS seem to have here is a failure to communicate. You'd think whenever things go wrong, the first thing we should always guess is communication. You know, like when your computer won't work the first thing you do is reboot.
But yet, people don't figure it out - they don't mention it. They don't say, hold on! Let's try and get back to basics, state the obvious, try and consciously communicate as clearly as possible. Sometimes, someone does finally say that, or the like, and everything comes out on the table, and then it does all gets sorted out, and we all can go have a drink.
I've often thought about this - the ability to state the obvious. It doesn't seem like much of an ability at all, because once someone states the obvious, it seems...well...obvious. Not very impressive. You're like, *I* could have said that. But you didn't. Many times, you didn't say it BECAUSE you didn't think of it. But me, personally, I often (maybe even usually) DO think it, I do know what it is, but I don't say it, because it's SO obvious that I think, there's no reason to state this. If I start from there, someone is going to call me on that, and say, well, of course, we know THAT. Let's move on. Hello? Are you an idiot?
They don't do that exactly, because usually these miscommunications (these moments where I fail to see that the obvious I am not stating is in fact not obvious to all of us) happen at work, and that's only because that's where most of my communications seem to happen. My work is actually not so bad, in terms of communication frustration. We mis-communicate about on a normal level but we laugh about it most of the time. My point is, they are pretty nice when someone embarrassingly states the obvious, because ofttimes, it's totally helpful. I still have not found my balance with this - I err often. It's a constant process.
My point - my QUESTION - is: is communication possible? I know you can have some, but can you have it consistently? Or is it like, say, eating? You have to do it all the time even though you JUST did it. I get so sick of communication, even though I am the champion of it. It's actually my job. I talk to people, I write things. I am the person trying to get people to talk about communication - trying to get them to communicate about communication, which is the most exasperating and rewarding type of communication to have. There's a real payoff when you can improve understanding and facilitate connection. People love it. Because it's so rare?
I was part of a big snafu at work recently - not huge; very fixable; just a loss of time and energy but not money or other important currency - and it was all due to some fuzzy communication. The wrong steps emphasized, certain key people missed. You know the situation; you've likely been there. When you discover what was wrong, you think, HOW did we miss that? WHY didn't someone think to tell me? It's incredible.
But it's also true; it happens. You can't deny it. I say things SO clearly, or at least I think I do (and again, I'm a professional) and I say it in so many different ways, yet still I get to a point where, I don't know how to say it more clearly. There is no more. I once had a very hard time explaining to an employee why his pay was always one week behind. Payroll closes on Sunday, and we pay him on Friday. He wanted to know why his holiday pay wasn't on the check, because he worked it on Thursday, and now it's Friday. I could not get him to conceive of the idea of processing time and delayed pay. I said it 15 times, in 15 different ways. Finally there was no other way to say it. He just looked at me, and that was it. We reached a communication impasse. Usually, it's just a slip, a result of inattention; once we listen, we can usually get it together. But with this guy, nothing.
And there was something in that. We kind of just stopped, and accepted it. He wasn't mad. He somehow felt that I was doing all I could, and he seemed to just know that he would get his pay even though what I said made NO sense to him. And sometimes that's where you end up.
It goes around and around - all these things, these ideas we fight over: the Jews and Christians and the Muslims and the Hindus. The various shades of white to black. Those who love cilantro and those who hate cilantro. After a while, you do all the communication, and if you're lucky and competent, it does go well, after all, and it makes sense to everyone, and the problem turns out to be you just...disagree.
And I think, this problem of understanding each other, of making oneself understood - what's it all about? WHY so hard, for so long, for so many? Why so perennial? It's maddening. And then I get to these moments, of pure disconnection, and they almost feel the same as pure connection. There's a sort of whole-being sigh; you sign with your soul, and just move right on. Maybe it's better this way - maybe miscommunication is just how we work it all out, and add to the sum total of experience and knowledge in the universe. Maybe this is the only way to get to compassion, to stumble through communication and then either get together or accept the impasse. Maybe that IS the point.
Anyway, as my boss likes to say: does make sense?
It doesn't matter if you don't believe anything about mercury retrogrades: my experience tells me it's a kerfuffly time in general right now, no matter who you are, it seems. Weird, delicate situations keep arising, and then going poorly. Even things that typically don't go awry are doing so. Friends express frustration, money is flowing out the door due to small repairs and unexpected expenses, and work projects have taken dark turns. It's like I'm moving through molasses. Example: I had one of those email blunders - a co-worker meant to copy his small location, and instead copied a huge group of us on a big email alias (600 internationally, probably), and when I was trying to check the alias it went to, I accidentally forwarded a blank email to those same already-annoyed 600 people. It was a slip of my hand, hitting the right keys to send the message. I mean - REALLY! Must I experience this?
And what strikes me - what strikes me the most - is how we, as a collective group, a race, a planet, whatever, how we can't seem to communicate. It's ancient, one of the most ancient things there is; what we have here is a failure to communicate. Why is that line from that movie so famous? Because everyone can identify; we know truth when we hear it. What we ALWAYS seem to have here is a failure to communicate. You'd think whenever things go wrong, the first thing we should always guess is communication. You know, like when your computer won't work the first thing you do is reboot.
But yet, people don't figure it out - they don't mention it. They don't say, hold on! Let's try and get back to basics, state the obvious, try and consciously communicate as clearly as possible. Sometimes, someone does finally say that, or the like, and everything comes out on the table, and then it does all gets sorted out, and we all can go have a drink.
I've often thought about this - the ability to state the obvious. It doesn't seem like much of an ability at all, because once someone states the obvious, it seems...well...obvious. Not very impressive. You're like, *I* could have said that. But you didn't. Many times, you didn't say it BECAUSE you didn't think of it. But me, personally, I often (maybe even usually) DO think it, I do know what it is, but I don't say it, because it's SO obvious that I think, there's no reason to state this. If I start from there, someone is going to call me on that, and say, well, of course, we know THAT. Let's move on. Hello? Are you an idiot?
They don't do that exactly, because usually these miscommunications (these moments where I fail to see that the obvious I am not stating is in fact not obvious to all of us) happen at work, and that's only because that's where most of my communications seem to happen. My work is actually not so bad, in terms of communication frustration. We mis-communicate about on a normal level but we laugh about it most of the time. My point is, they are pretty nice when someone embarrassingly states the obvious, because ofttimes, it's totally helpful. I still have not found my balance with this - I err often. It's a constant process.
My point - my QUESTION - is: is communication possible? I know you can have some, but can you have it consistently? Or is it like, say, eating? You have to do it all the time even though you JUST did it. I get so sick of communication, even though I am the champion of it. It's actually my job. I talk to people, I write things. I am the person trying to get people to talk about communication - trying to get them to communicate about communication, which is the most exasperating and rewarding type of communication to have. There's a real payoff when you can improve understanding and facilitate connection. People love it. Because it's so rare?
I was part of a big snafu at work recently - not huge; very fixable; just a loss of time and energy but not money or other important currency - and it was all due to some fuzzy communication. The wrong steps emphasized, certain key people missed. You know the situation; you've likely been there. When you discover what was wrong, you think, HOW did we miss that? WHY didn't someone think to tell me? It's incredible.
But it's also true; it happens. You can't deny it. I say things SO clearly, or at least I think I do (and again, I'm a professional) and I say it in so many different ways, yet still I get to a point where, I don't know how to say it more clearly. There is no more. I once had a very hard time explaining to an employee why his pay was always one week behind. Payroll closes on Sunday, and we pay him on Friday. He wanted to know why his holiday pay wasn't on the check, because he worked it on Thursday, and now it's Friday. I could not get him to conceive of the idea of processing time and delayed pay. I said it 15 times, in 15 different ways. Finally there was no other way to say it. He just looked at me, and that was it. We reached a communication impasse. Usually, it's just a slip, a result of inattention; once we listen, we can usually get it together. But with this guy, nothing.
And there was something in that. We kind of just stopped, and accepted it. He wasn't mad. He somehow felt that I was doing all I could, and he seemed to just know that he would get his pay even though what I said made NO sense to him. And sometimes that's where you end up.
It goes around and around - all these things, these ideas we fight over: the Jews and Christians and the Muslims and the Hindus. The various shades of white to black. Those who love cilantro and those who hate cilantro. After a while, you do all the communication, and if you're lucky and competent, it does go well, after all, and it makes sense to everyone, and the problem turns out to be you just...disagree.
And I think, this problem of understanding each other, of making oneself understood - what's it all about? WHY so hard, for so long, for so many? Why so perennial? It's maddening. And then I get to these moments, of pure disconnection, and they almost feel the same as pure connection. There's a sort of whole-being sigh; you sign with your soul, and just move right on. Maybe it's better this way - maybe miscommunication is just how we work it all out, and add to the sum total of experience and knowledge in the universe. Maybe this is the only way to get to compassion, to stumble through communication and then either get together or accept the impasse. Maybe that IS the point.
Anyway, as my boss likes to say: does make sense?
I love this post, Kar, and wholeheartedly agree. Had a MAJOR communication problem come up in a critical relationship last week, and it left both of us frustrated and so disheartened. I'm blaming Mercury, because I know our intentions were good. And reading this also made me think.....sometimes things just have to get out of alignment so they can re-align more accurately. I read a quote yesterday: "Sometimes things fall apart so they can fall together even better."
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