I started this post a month ago, but got distracted and never finished it. I think I was trying to cast about for a unifying theme, but those don't always arise. Then, too, I've had a lot of things happen recently that I really wanted to write about but as always, time is a factor and so I figured I may as well post what I actually did write. It's random stuff.
Things That Happen Again
It's finally raining. Almost the entire winter has gone by and it really hasn't rained. Everyone has mentioned it. The skiers are upset - no snow. "Where is the snow?" they say. I called a store in Reno (for work) and as I was waiting for someone else to join, I made chit chat by asking about the weather. "Well..." she said, "Actually, people here are kind of upset. They want snow. There hasn't been any."
And then it turned cold, and one morning there was thick frost on my car (great, I thought - is it OK that I finally just planted the tulips?); I had to use the squeege to scrape it all off. It looked like snow. Then finally, it got gloomy, and everyone at my office was cold all day, and one night the cold felt arctic, and now here's a storm. The wind is howling as I write that. It's not just an expression.
For the most part, I like weather. I am for weather. My family lives in Southern California, and they don't seem to need or like weather there. They brag about how great it is to have it be sunny and mild all the time. They don't tire of it. I do - I want things to change.
Today, though, the weather had a little trick to play on me. This morning, a friend who is visiting (Z, from New York - I mention him sometimes) was going to come with me on my commute; we'd eat an early breakfast and then I'd go to work. It was a good plan. As we drove across the bridge in a drizzle, I told him a story I had not mentioned for a long time.
Years ago, when I lived in SoCal, the windsheild wipers on my old Honda Civic were worn out, so I replaced them, but by just changing out the rubber blades only. However, the job was done improperly (perhaps, by my ex? I know *I* don't know how to change windshield wipers), and the blades began to flap out. I had to drive home from work in extremely heavy rain, stopping every few blocks, it seemed, to push the blades back down, only to watch them gradually flop around as they increasingly slipped out with use. It took forever to get home, on side streets, in the dark (my old work, retail, closed at midnight), and I got soaking wet each time I got out to re-set the blades.
So I told Z about this. How awful, he correctly sympathized. (He had asked for a portable umbrella earlier and the travel one I gave him was so surprisingly small, he said, "This?...I could carry it in my mouth." It was very Woody Allen, very funny. Z's one-liners are excellent).
Yes, I agreed. Then I told him the relevance, which was I just got these wipers replaced. My wonderful, kind, caring partner replaced them for me last time I went out of town. They had gotten so bad, the old ones, it was getting dangerous. How grateful, I went on, am I for these windshield wipers.
So, of course, as I was driving home in the Friday afternoon rainy traffic, getting off at an exit near my house (I was running a quick errand), the wiper on the driver's side just popped off. Just popped right off. Luckily, I was very close to parking; I was able to pull the thing off, but not reattach it.
It was getting dark. I ran my 10-minute errand, then went back and used my squeege to clear the windshield. It wasn't raining too bad, so I figured one swipe was maybe enough to make it home. No such luck. Traffic was bad, the little Glen Park intersection jammed. More rain. It got darker. My visibility was poor. I rolled my window down, got the squeege out at red lights and stop signs and cleared my view. It was an absurd way to drive home, and I really felt like I conjured the situation up by telling the story earlier that same day.
When we don't create drama - true drama, the cleansing, bonding, enlightening kind - we are doomed to live melodrama (Caroline Casey says; I paraphrase). Sometimes life is just dramatic, and you have to roll with it. Enjoy it. It's a story to tell later; it's a blog entry. I got home safely, so that means it turned out okay, which is, after all, the best part of any story.
Overload Happens
There's been a lot going on, lately - my friend Z is here, and my workload is quite heavy. When isn't it, I know? But it does happen to ebb and flow, and I'm currently preparing (and spending a lot of mental and emotional energy for) for this large event coming this spring. A couple thousand people - that size. I've never done anything like this before, and it's quite a journey.
I'm almost always engaged at work - from being entertained to being truly moved, I get a lot of my wonderful moments in my life these days with co-workers or due to my work or at work. Sometimes I am at work; the beautiful moment is there but it just happens to happen at work. Or I'm home and I make a breakthrough in terms of my thinking which will help both in my personal life AND at work. There's a wide variety of experience - in my work life and in my home life. Everywhere life, there's a lot going on.
And something happened to me the other day, at work. I got in one morning, starting to tackle what needed to be done that day: going through emails, organizing tasks, checking my meetings to ensure I was prepared. All of the sudden, I just - froze. I went right over the edge, in terms of my brain being full. My brain was so full, it was beginning to leak, or overflow. I was overwhelmed, and it became almost impossible to turn my mind to any one thing. I was unable to work.
Luckily, I had a meeting almost right away, and when it was over, I was able to start slogging through it all. But it was just so much information. Organizing the information is the key skill to a modern junior executive. It's about keeping track of all the threads, making sure it all gets covered in due time, in the right way that will frustrate people the least - or, if at all possible, inspire them. And as work piled up and went past the fill line, the organization system I use - which is usually fairly good, reliable - started to break down.
Because *I* was a factor in the system - I sort, I act, I write, I speak, etc - it began to break down when I broke down. I mean, it wasn't all that dramatic - it was a temporary thing, a moment of re-adjustment. I did not *really* break down. I just had this momentary episode of paralytic overload and subsequent inaction. But like Bugs Bunny, I sort of just shook my head, got some perspective, some sleep and some food - and it was all better.
It's amazing how many times a grumpy mood or befuddled state can be resolved by a simple application of rest, nutrition or emotional care. Someone gives you a hug. You walk a couple miles. You eat some kale - I have a hard time with kale but my partner swears by it; if he has any disgestive issue, he eats some kale, and it all gets resolved. You get a good night's sleep - or wake up without an alarm.
This tendency that I've witnessed on so many occassions, either myself or the people around me, to just keep going. To find a way to pick up and carry on. Overload is followed by either processing or collapse, and I'm amazed at how often it's NOT collapse. It's amazing what people CAN deal with. I don't even have kids, or have to fight in a war. I have it easy, relatively. Yet one thing I have noticed over and over is that we all get challenges at our capacity. Things that would have floored me - freaked me out, or been totally beyond me - just a few years ago are now a snap. New things crop up to cause stress. It's this endless cycle, which is good, I guess, because otherwise things would be very boring.
Things That Happen Again
It's finally raining. Almost the entire winter has gone by and it really hasn't rained. Everyone has mentioned it. The skiers are upset - no snow. "Where is the snow?" they say. I called a store in Reno (for work) and as I was waiting for someone else to join, I made chit chat by asking about the weather. "Well..." she said, "Actually, people here are kind of upset. They want snow. There hasn't been any."
And then it turned cold, and one morning there was thick frost on my car (great, I thought - is it OK that I finally just planted the tulips?); I had to use the squeege to scrape it all off. It looked like snow. Then finally, it got gloomy, and everyone at my office was cold all day, and one night the cold felt arctic, and now here's a storm. The wind is howling as I write that. It's not just an expression.
For the most part, I like weather. I am for weather. My family lives in Southern California, and they don't seem to need or like weather there. They brag about how great it is to have it be sunny and mild all the time. They don't tire of it. I do - I want things to change.
Today, though, the weather had a little trick to play on me. This morning, a friend who is visiting (Z, from New York - I mention him sometimes) was going to come with me on my commute; we'd eat an early breakfast and then I'd go to work. It was a good plan. As we drove across the bridge in a drizzle, I told him a story I had not mentioned for a long time.
Years ago, when I lived in SoCal, the windsheild wipers on my old Honda Civic were worn out, so I replaced them, but by just changing out the rubber blades only. However, the job was done improperly (perhaps, by my ex? I know *I* don't know how to change windshield wipers), and the blades began to flap out. I had to drive home from work in extremely heavy rain, stopping every few blocks, it seemed, to push the blades back down, only to watch them gradually flop around as they increasingly slipped out with use. It took forever to get home, on side streets, in the dark (my old work, retail, closed at midnight), and I got soaking wet each time I got out to re-set the blades.
So I told Z about this. How awful, he correctly sympathized. (He had asked for a portable umbrella earlier and the travel one I gave him was so surprisingly small, he said, "This?...I could carry it in my mouth." It was very Woody Allen, very funny. Z's one-liners are excellent).
Yes, I agreed. Then I told him the relevance, which was I just got these wipers replaced. My wonderful, kind, caring partner replaced them for me last time I went out of town. They had gotten so bad, the old ones, it was getting dangerous. How grateful, I went on, am I for these windshield wipers.
So, of course, as I was driving home in the Friday afternoon rainy traffic, getting off at an exit near my house (I was running a quick errand), the wiper on the driver's side just popped off. Just popped right off. Luckily, I was very close to parking; I was able to pull the thing off, but not reattach it.
It was getting dark. I ran my 10-minute errand, then went back and used my squeege to clear the windshield. It wasn't raining too bad, so I figured one swipe was maybe enough to make it home. No such luck. Traffic was bad, the little Glen Park intersection jammed. More rain. It got darker. My visibility was poor. I rolled my window down, got the squeege out at red lights and stop signs and cleared my view. It was an absurd way to drive home, and I really felt like I conjured the situation up by telling the story earlier that same day.
When we don't create drama - true drama, the cleansing, bonding, enlightening kind - we are doomed to live melodrama (Caroline Casey says; I paraphrase). Sometimes life is just dramatic, and you have to roll with it. Enjoy it. It's a story to tell later; it's a blog entry. I got home safely, so that means it turned out okay, which is, after all, the best part of any story.
Overload Happens
There's been a lot going on, lately - my friend Z is here, and my workload is quite heavy. When isn't it, I know? But it does happen to ebb and flow, and I'm currently preparing (and spending a lot of mental and emotional energy for) for this large event coming this spring. A couple thousand people - that size. I've never done anything like this before, and it's quite a journey.
I'm almost always engaged at work - from being entertained to being truly moved, I get a lot of my wonderful moments in my life these days with co-workers or due to my work or at work. Sometimes I am at work; the beautiful moment is there but it just happens to happen at work. Or I'm home and I make a breakthrough in terms of my thinking which will help both in my personal life AND at work. There's a wide variety of experience - in my work life and in my home life. Everywhere life, there's a lot going on.
And something happened to me the other day, at work. I got in one morning, starting to tackle what needed to be done that day: going through emails, organizing tasks, checking my meetings to ensure I was prepared. All of the sudden, I just - froze. I went right over the edge, in terms of my brain being full. My brain was so full, it was beginning to leak, or overflow. I was overwhelmed, and it became almost impossible to turn my mind to any one thing. I was unable to work.
Luckily, I had a meeting almost right away, and when it was over, I was able to start slogging through it all. But it was just so much information. Organizing the information is the key skill to a modern junior executive. It's about keeping track of all the threads, making sure it all gets covered in due time, in the right way that will frustrate people the least - or, if at all possible, inspire them. And as work piled up and went past the fill line, the organization system I use - which is usually fairly good, reliable - started to break down.
Because *I* was a factor in the system - I sort, I act, I write, I speak, etc - it began to break down when I broke down. I mean, it wasn't all that dramatic - it was a temporary thing, a moment of re-adjustment. I did not *really* break down. I just had this momentary episode of paralytic overload and subsequent inaction. But like Bugs Bunny, I sort of just shook my head, got some perspective, some sleep and some food - and it was all better.
It's amazing how many times a grumpy mood or befuddled state can be resolved by a simple application of rest, nutrition or emotional care. Someone gives you a hug. You walk a couple miles. You eat some kale - I have a hard time with kale but my partner swears by it; if he has any disgestive issue, he eats some kale, and it all gets resolved. You get a good night's sleep - or wake up without an alarm.
This tendency that I've witnessed on so many occassions, either myself or the people around me, to just keep going. To find a way to pick up and carry on. Overload is followed by either processing or collapse, and I'm amazed at how often it's NOT collapse. It's amazing what people CAN deal with. I don't even have kids, or have to fight in a war. I have it easy, relatively. Yet one thing I have noticed over and over is that we all get challenges at our capacity. Things that would have floored me - freaked me out, or been totally beyond me - just a few years ago are now a snap. New things crop up to cause stress. It's this endless cycle, which is good, I guess, because otherwise things would be very boring.
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